farewell again

I wish I had never met him. I wish I had enough sense not to fall into the whirlwind. This is the case of seeing and not seeing enough, knowing and not heeding. I guess I'd never really learned. But how I wish I had. I would like to bang my head against a wall in order for me to have a bruise on my forehead. And that visible bruise would remind me of my stupidity, my pathetic condition... for people, in my opinion, already have enough reason to laugh at me and ridicule me. I would also like to cry, if only there was time and space to do so. I would also like to forget, but I guess something as deep as 'love' is something one never really forgets that easily.