a night

under the stars. street lamp flickers on and off. wish it were just turned off, so i could see the stars better. when darkness falls, you see them shine brighter.

"I don't know why everybody's being inconsiderate...
Or maybe I'm the one who's inconsiderate," she says.

then tears roll down her face. i'm not sure. can't see them. can't say anything.
but i'm sure she's hurt.

~~~

upstairs. third floor. venetian blinds raised. a gentle night breeze. warm. butterscotch, the laptop, is warm, too. screen stares at me. can't write anything. difficult paper.

thoughts. difficult.

noise downstairs.
they're happy. wish i were, too.


thoughts which shouldn't be there. Pride. can't write anything. semanticization of domination. Jean Franco. women. politics. now what?

thoughts again. i utter a prayer. Please remove this pride, this source of pain.
Please help me diminish.


i open my Bible.

And I say, 'Oh, that I had wings like a dove!
I would fly away and be at rest;
yes, I would wander far away;
I would lodge in the wilderness;
I would hurry to find a shelter
from the raging wind and tempest.'
-Psalm 55: 6-8


For it is not an enemy who taunts me --
then I could bear it;
it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me --
then I could hide from him.
But it is you, a man, my equal,
my companion, my familiar friend.
We used to take sweet counsel together;
within God's house we walked in the throng.
-Psalm 55: 12-14



Yes, David, I know it hurts.


~~~